I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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