Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we're making bets on your personal life
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
