He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
