we have officially mastered the walk of shame
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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