Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I have post one night stand depression
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
