grandma shit on top of the toilet
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
