wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
