you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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