if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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