I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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