he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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