my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
