Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
