The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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