If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Randomize
