My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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