Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
