She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
