New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
