For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
