I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
