I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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