Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
soo... how was my night?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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