My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
