I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
