i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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