So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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