I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
we should paint friendship bongs
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