I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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