I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Bring me that man meat
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
