He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
