He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
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