Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
