The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
