did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
