it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
