I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
