Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
