my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
