dude i'm inner monologue high
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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