My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
