things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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