I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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