she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
