Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
