because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
