i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
