I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
