i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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