im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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