If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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