i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
