apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
