if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
